I perceive to the deepest fathoms of my conscience that I could never get to know about my own cherished yearnings, thoughts, opinions and utmost emotional pains. I feel so sorry for myself that I could never understand myself in this life. INSPITE OF STRUGGLING WITH THE BEST EFFORTS, I WAS NEVER CLOSE TO MY OWNSELF. I earned a great deal of rude remarks due to this way of thriving on this earth. What I could reap in this shortwhile comprises of only blemishes and taints. I shattered the dreams of my parents and many near and dear ones. I feel myself to be the greatest sinner. I have committed only immoral acts, as the rumours speak. I have lost all my strength, my divinity and my mental balance due to the filthy and brutal rebukes meted out to me. I have become a trustless, characterless and an unworthy fellow. I had been already emotionally broken down due to my own ideology. These circumstances have led to a place where I see no happiness. I always want to sit at a place where I wont find any human and cry my heart out. I ask apology from my GOD. I have always asked my Almighty God to bless me with a new life so that I could explore my conscience and my mind as a new person. I LOVE MY PARENTS MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WHOLE WORLD. This is the only thing I am unable to convey to my parents.